Ah, the Scalene Triangle
by Kage Koutetsu Yume
Summary: Dipper remembers a shitty meme at 2AM.


HEre I am writing more sin

Inspired by "Ah, The Scalene Triangle". I hate myself.

* * *

Through some weird train of thought, Dipper had been reminded of the scalene triangle meme. He looked over at Bill, who was on the other side of the couch, a comfortable distance away. They were watching a shitty horror movie together; Dipper had awoken at around 2 in the morning due to nightmares, and Bill?

Bill didn't really need sleep, or at least not as often as an actual human did.

After going through a few semesters of community college, Dipper went to a state school to pursue a degree in literature with a focus in creative writing. As a safety net, he'd also scraped out a computer science major from his remaining free classes to placate his parents. Supportive as they were, he also knew that they were probably worried about student loan debt, and working at the Mystery Shack wasn't going to pay student loans. He was almost done with his first novel, but just because he was interested in the subject material didn't mean publishers or the general public were going to be as enthralled. Mabel, on the other hand, had taken a few community college classes and decided to forgo a bachelor's degree in favor of freelancing, whether it be painting or by selling crafts online. There was a high demand for her crafts, so she did quite well for herself.

Dipper and Bill didn't need to worry too much about volume on the TV. Mabel was sleeping over at Pacifica's, and both Stan and Ford were out of town for the next couple days. Bill and Dipper had the Mystery Shack to themselves, a rare treat.

Recalling Bill's true form, Dipper knew that Bill was not, in fact, a scalene triangle. Still, he couldn't resist blurting out, "Ah, the scalene triangle," at Bill.

Bill looked at Dipper sharply, as if insulted, "What did you just call me?"

Dipper smirked at the reaction, and decided to see just how far he could push the demon's buttons. Unwise under normal circumstances, but Bill was trapped under contract in his human form: tall, slender, with medium length blonde hair and piercing golden eyes that had oddly shaped pupils. Bill had a limited scope of powers in this form.

"Ah, the scalene triangle," Dipper repeated, enjoying the sight of Bill looking more irritated at his misidentification.

"You may not be able to see it now, but I'm isosceles. No need to be cheeky, Pine Tree," Bill tried to play it off like he wasn't that mad, but he was clearly irritated by being called scalene.

Dipper scooted closer to Bill, and repeated himself once more, "Ah, the scalene triangle," but in a more intellectual tone, like he was making observations of Bill. He was in Bill's face. It was almost as if he was telling Bill to make him shut up about scalene triangles.

Bill glared at Dipper, and Dipper, thinking that he had won, was about to pull back, when there was a hand on his head keeping him from pulling back, and Bill began to kiss Dipper. Dipper's eyes widened in surprise. Out of all the times where this could have happened, it happened now, when he was reciting a stupid fucking meme at him.

Dipper realized that Bill was continuing to kiss him, so he kissed back. If he backed down from the demon, it would be considered backing down from the challenge he'd issued by calling him scalene.

Because of a stupid meme. Stupid internet.

Ah well. They continued like that, kissing at a moderate pace without any tongue, when Bill decided do more. His left hand began to map out the curve of Dipper's waist and hip, while the other hand that was on the back of Dipper's head pulled him closer, moving down to his shoulders and wrapping around them.

Not one to be bested, Dipper wrapped an arm around Bill's waist and ran his fingers through Bill's hair. It was soft to the touch.

Suddenly, Bill bit Dipper's lip, which caused Dipper to let out a little noise. Taking advantage of the parted lips, Bill's tongue entered Dipper's mouth and then they were making out properly. Dipper sucked on Bill's tongue, hard, which made Bill moan just a tiny bit. Their lips continued to move together, now slick with saliva. Dipper's breathing was getting a little heavier, and he could feel arousal pooling in his lower abdomen.

Because of a fucking meme.

Bill moved to kiss Dipper's jawline, the destination being Dipper's neck. He kissed and began to suck, and Dipper wondered how far the stupid meme would take him.

"Ahhhhh, the scalene triangle," Dipper moaned, and Bill tensed, before roughly pushing him down on his back onto the couch.

Bill looked angry, but was also clearly affected by their activities. His lips were pink and wet, his hair was mussed, and his pupils were dialated, even for the low lighting of the living room. There was a sort of predatory look to his eyes.

"Stop calling me a scalene triangle, Pine Tree, or else you're going to be hurting tomorrow morning," Bill threatened. In this context, Dipper wasn't sure if his deliberate misnaming of Bill was going to cause him genuine pain, or if it was going to be the kind of sore that comes from a good dick up his ass.

Not to say he would know if Bill's dick would be good. Did he really want to go on with this? Was it worth the meme?

Dipper looked at Bill, right in his golden eyes. Bill frowned, and palmed Dipper through his jeans.

"Ahhhhhh, the scalene triangle!" Dipper exclaimed at the touch. Arousal always made him very sensitive, which made it easy for anyone to satisfy him.

Yeah, this was worth the meme.

Bill then started to kiss him much more roughly now, all tongue and teeth and movement. Dipper returned in kind, biting Bill's lips. Both their hands were roaming all over now, and Dipper raked his nails down Bill's back, who let out a deep moan before moving his hands to push up Dipper's shirt. Dipper decided to just take over that detail and helped out by taking his shirt off. He also began to unbutton Bill's shirt, while the dream demon preoccupied himself by kissing and biting Dipper's neck, who moaned in response to Bill's ministrations. Dipper figured it would leave mark later, but that could be dealt with later.

He finished unbuttoning Bill's shirt and pulled him closer now, and then it was his turn to start kissing Bill's neck.

Dipper wasn't a pushover in these things. He bit down, hard, on Bill's neck, and sucked, causing Bill to moan appreciatively. He grabbed Bill's ass and rutted up against his crotch, and to no one's surprise, Bill was enjoying this too. This was also evident by the grunts they both let out at that action.

A rhythm was formed of frotting, with moans and grunts coming from both of them (though moreso from Dipper), and then Bill undid Dipper's jeans and slid his hand inside to grasp at Dipper's length.

Dipper moaned at this, and resisted the urge to repeat the meme. Not yet...

Bill squeezed Dipper's cock.

"Ahhhhhhh the scalene tri-angle~!" Dipper moaned louder, his voice slightly breaking on "triangle".

Bill exhaled sharply and before Dipper knew it, his pants were down to his ankles and Bill's mouth was kissing his hips, before moving down to his pelvis, though he avoided his cock, which twitched with need.

Bill, using his limited powers, was able to conjure up a bottle of lube. He opened the bottle of lube and coated a finger with it. He then spread Dipper's legs apart, and circled Dipper's hole with the lube-coated finger. Dipper shivered at the cold lube near the heat of his ass, and then the cold wetness was slowly entering him. While this was happening, Bill was kissing his inner thighs, which made it even better.

Then, the finger began to prod inside of him until it found his prostate, which caused Dipper to moan again, though he did not repeat the meme again.

Bill began to finger Dipper in earnest now, starting with one just to get him used to it, and then slowly adding another one, which he'd of course coated with lube before attempting it. When he added the second finger, he went back to a slow pace with it.

Two fingers was even better than one, and Dipper was moaning and gasping just with two fingers inside of him, and Bill hadn't even put his mouth on his neglected cock yet, he'd just been kissing and nipping and sucking the sensitive areas around it.

It was frustrating.

Finally, Bill added a third finger, and repeated the process of slowly entering before increasing his speed.

He wasn't just going to give it to Dipper though.

"Tell me what you want, Pine Tree," Bill said in a low, predatory voice. By now, he was fingering Dipper with all three fingers at a good pace.

When he hit Dipper's prostate directly, Dipper screamed.

"Ahhhh the scalene triangle! Fuck me, scalene triangle!"

The meme was complete.

* * *

I think this is about what ff will let me get by with without deleting the story. I signed up for AO3's waiting list and will post the sex scene there, and Dipper will be doing more than just reciting a god damned meme.

I cannot believe that I'm getting an AO3 account just to post a sex scene involving a GOD DAMNED TRIANGLE AND A HAT BOY (WHO IS LIKE 22 IN THIS FIC IF YOU WERE CURIOUS, HE'S POST COLLEGE AT ANY RATE)


End file.
